Khubani’s father, knowing that his son was going to Asia on business, offered to pay his way if he stopped in Jaipur. Getting them to meet took some prodding: Mr. At the time she was a soap opera star and rising Bollywood actress. “I didn’t see why it was so important that I had to fly across the world to see one girl,” Mr. Khubani, who was not keen on settling down because he had just started Telebrands, a company in Fairfield, N.J., that sells inventions via infomercials on late-night television. Khubani was 25 in 1985 when his parents tried to get him to visit Inder Sen Israni and Maya Israni in Jaipur, India, friends of the Khubani family, and meet the couple’s daughter Poonam.
Some couples who have entered into satisfying arranged marriages do attribute the success of their unions to the involvement of their parents. “They’re trying to figure out whether something could go wrong that could drive people apart,” Dr. The most important thing parents of the couple do, he said, is to “screen for deal breakers.” He found that one key to a strong arranged marriage is the amount of parental involvement at its start. Among them is Robert Epstein, a senior research psychologist at the American Institute for Behavior Research and Technology in Vista, Calif., and author of a new study, “How Love Emerges in Arranged Marriages.” In an era when 40 to 50 percent of all American marriages end in divorce, some marriage experts are asking whether arranged marriages produce better relationships in the long run than do typical American marriages, in which people find each other on their own and romance is the foundation.Įxperts also ask whether there are lessons in how arranged marriages evolve that can be applied to nonarranged marriages in the United States. WHETHER arranged marriages produce loving, respectful relationships is a question almost as old as the institution of marriage itself.
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